"When Will The Bad Things End For Me And Get Much.. Better? OR.. Will They?>>>See below?

I don't know.. why.. at 45.. I am not yet married... I don't own a home.. keep filling the landlord who is a wealthy.. wealthy mans pockets.. and I have nothing to show for it. He does. I am investing in rent.. why? Its just not fair.. I can't afford this.. I moved out of my state I lived in to start a new life..which was a brave move. Then.. I have a relationship with a man who was my friend for a year first who been cheating on me.. gave me herpies.. and ran off with a woman who lives in Romania.. trading me in for a much younger version.. that I am no longer able to compete with. I gave him all my heart and soul.. my love... and he is from a good family...and he made decisions behind my back that are now.. impacting me. I have to eventually.. have labia surgery that cost 4 grand because of him and his cheating ways. HPV you can get from . yet no one thinks of that at the time.. and pes it on. I am beaten down.. gained weight...had a bad car accident a few years ago.. could have died.. jumped out when my break system failed ..flying down a hill.. slid down the hill on my rump.. and damaged my knee. Decided because I had no health insurance to not have the surgery..it took two years for my knee to heal. I will need the surgery at 65. I lost my job last year.. same timing as the break up.. when I thought I was getting engaged and waited for it every day. I am beside myself. He didn't even apologize.. and that would have at least made me feel like I was not a rag he tossed out the window. I feel .. I wasn't missed or appreciated at all. Or.. Loved!..What a concept ...after 6 years. He was a Christian to boot. I feel isolated now. Tried to make two friends .. and they were not interested in having a close friend.. too busy with their families. I have takes two Certificate Cles that did not work for me. Is there something wrong? I am not sure.. by now.. I would think.. I would have my house and one kid was all I ever ever wanted. This was the only man I ever wanted a kid with. My mother had to come help me.. because of my accident. I am collecting 128.00 a week whew hoo.. and I am barely surviving. I have no had a hug .. a kiss .. a mage.. nothing.. for so.. so.. long. I have no desire at all whatsover to date.. after all this. All .. the men I have been with cheated every single one of them. I want a home.. even if I have to buy it. I am planning on taking a course for one year for a skill soon. I am not sure if this will end up the same as the others .. the way my luck is going. I have no true friends.. Just my mother .. my brother is an alchoholic.. my other brother disowned the family for his wives. I have no one. I feel so.. alone..My mothers health and will to live is failing and I am soo.. scared I will be homeless. I have two dogs.. that I have to care for that are my family. That is all I have. I dont ever buy clothes can't afford them.. I wear the same few sweat shirts all the time. I am just in a bad way.. and dont want the ship to go down with me on it. This is so.....not fair! Hope You Can Offer Me A Brighter Outlook... I just can't see one at all. I want my own home so.. bad and cant afford to pay rent and live with just me alone and no help .. when my mother dies.. and feel no one cares at all.